Oh Lordy! The annual John Lewis Christmas ad just made me cry.
Pulled it up on YouTube and indulged in a schmaltzy moment visualising our idiot-teenage-hellhound as being just like that cute, weeny, John Lewis dragon – merely a loveable scamp, always getting himself into SUCH hilarious little scrapes!
Pushed the fantasy to it’s absolute limits by casting myself as John Lewis’s slightly-concerned but ever-so-loving, red-haired moppet, patiently putting up with dragon-aka-hellhound’s nonsense before calmly finding a way to bring out the best in the loveable rogue so that Christmas ends up being just SO joyful and bubbly and peachy-wonderful it just makes you want to burp mistletoe.
Sadly, fuzzy daydream got interrupted by urgent need to wrestle favourite pillow out of the mouth of forementioned hellhound. Did so while employing vocabulary not included in the original John Lewis script.
Dog wins – pillow doesn’t.
Hellhound formally executes the pillow by shredding the bastard; barks happily; farts happily; skedaddles joyfully in search of another one we can play with.
I crawl around the room collecting scattered pillow guts and wonder- a tad hopelessly – whether an internet DIY guide to plastic surgery, might resuscitate favourite pillow.
Pillow now makes Frankenstein’s monster look under-stitched and decidedly stream-line.
Allocate sleepless hours to a cricked neck and requisite nightmares about impending arrival of Christmas tree.
Have a nice little cry.
Amazing how that John Lewis ad can always dredge up a seasonal sniffle…